A Strong Heart
"So, anyone interested in volunteering?" Mrs. Ambrey- the head of college asked to the group of College 2 girls, sitting around looking uninterested, except for a girl or two.
The moment Arene heard the word 'volunteering' she did not hesitate to raise up her hand. Don't know what's with her and volunteering lately. Out of kindness? maybe.. but it also has something to do with obtaining the glorious v50 certificate, another addition to her achievements.
So then together with her other 3 friends, half-reluctantly, she was on her way to Acomb, towards the York old people cares or something.
"Are you okay?" CL asked her, as they walked side-by-side together.
"Yeah, i'm fine.. It's just the cold. It's giving me headache.." Arene replied.
Rats, she thought. Not only she was out in the cold winter air, she might also miss the College 1 Pantomime, playing later that afternoon. She planned to just spend a few minutes volunteering then go back to school, hopefully in time for pantomime.
When they arrived at the place, Jewels ring the bell.
"Hello?" someone's voice came out of the speak through thing, on the door.
"Hey, umm.. We're here for volunteering?" Jewels said to the speaker.
"Oh right, I'll let you in then."
So they were ushered into the house and brought into the living room. The sight took Arene by surprise. There were dozens of chairs, arranged against the left and right of the walls. Seated in them were very old people, of different looks and conditions. Some were smiling, some were talking, and some were not even aware of what's happening around them. Besides the occupants of the house, there were also some young people like us, already seated and keeping some of the old people accompanied. So, Arene figured she should do the same.
Arene grabbed a chair and took a seat in front of three aged women. She said hi and made small talks with them - well, to be exact, just the woman in the middle. One of them just looked at them talking and the other would not even look at Arene. From talking to the middle woman, she figured out that she's been to S'pore, German etc. Bless her, she tried to include the other woman who wouldn't even look at Arene. But most of the time, she complained. She said at this age, she could not do what she used to do when she was young. Arene did not know how to respond to that.
"Why don't you go and talk to the other people. They may have different story to tell." the middle woman told Arene.
"Oh, right," she said, and looked around the room. Then she heard the 'not-looking' woman said to the middle woman, "This is a disappointment. I was expecting singing or something."
Ouch, Arene thought. She felt totally hopeless then. She told them that she's a good dancer but that she wasn't prepared for this. So in the end, she gave up and stood up.
"Do you mind if I go and talk to the others?"
"No, go ahead." the middle woman said, still being kind.
"I want to go up now.." the 2nd woman said, as she tried to get up.
"Oh are you tired?" Arene asked as she helped her get up.
"No.. I just want to get out of here." she replied.
Oh shit. Arene was aware she wasn't doing her job properly. She just helped the old woman got up silently. What's her deal this woman? Arene shoved the guilty feeling to the back of her head and tried again. She looked around and saw an old lady by the very end, at the corner, not doing anything. She then moved to sit with her.
"Hi, I have not introduced myself to you yet. I'm Arene." she said and shook the old lady's fragile hand. "What's your name?"
"Cebil." she answered, smiling.
"So how are they treating you here?" Arene asked.
"huh?" Cebil said and leaned closer.
Arene said slowly this time, "How do you find it here? Is everything alright? The food and everything?"
"Yes2 they are fine dear, thank you. Are you doing well?" she asked Arene backm which is a surprise, pleasant.
"Yes im very good actually, thank you."
Then they made some small talks. Unlike before with the others, Arene talked fine with Cebil. Cebil kept mentioning that she's weary..
"Oh are you tired?" Arene said, concerned.
"No not tired. Just weary you know. Weary of life. But it's about time we retired," Cebil said, smiling still.
When they were both silent, Arene filled it quickly by complimenting her. She saw that her nails were nicely-shaped, painted with pink nail polish.
"Awww.. this is really nice~ I like the colour!" Arene exclaimed.
"Yes it is. The people here did it for us. It's lovely.." Cebil told her. Arene continued fiddling with Cebil's fingers and saw her rings on her finger.
"These are really pretty..." she said, admiring the really ancient, but pure-looking gold and silver rings.
"Yeah.. they were my engagement and wedding rings." Cebil smiled answering.
"Awww....~ they're very beautiful. They must have been here for a long time..." Arene cooed. And her heart reacted somehow. This woman had a great life before these years. "So do you have any family?" Arene asked before she could stop herself. She's scared that the topic may not be suitable.
"Yes I do. I have a daughter. She came to visit sometimes but we don't talk much you see. At this age, it was hard for us to communicate. I just asked how are you, how's your father doing.." she said, really slowly and kinda sad. Arene nodded understanding. Then a man came and offer them cakes and drinks. Arene just had cold water while Cebil took a really small glass of cherry juice or something.
"Cheers~" Cebil said, laughing a weak smile and Arene laughed along.
"Oh be careful with that," Arene said, helping the woman drink.
"Oh this is lovely.. thank you. I can manage, love." she said, smiling really big now.
Arene was more than happy to help. She pinched a small bit of the cake and gave it to her.
"What is it?" Cebil asked.
"It's chocolate cake. Try some of it first."
She seemed to like it because afterward , she took the whole cake and took a big bite. Arene smiled and they talked some more. They were talking very close. Arene's eyes went almost crossed. They were very very close that she sometimes only saw Cebil's right eye.
At one point, Cebil closed her eyes andd Arene thought she was in pain. But it turned out she was trying to sneeze as she was feeling around for tissue. Arene quickly took the tissue and gave it to her.
"Right on time," Cebil said, as she wiped her nose. Arene then saw a tissue tucked underneath her shirt. And she saw brown stain which look like dried blood or some kind of liquid.
"Does this hurt...?" Arene said, placing a hand gently on Cebil's stomach.
"Yes it does. Always.. But I learn to live with it you know. We just keep going on. The doctors came to check sometimes but they didn't tell me exactly what's going on with me." Cebil said. At that moment, Arene felt like bursting into tears. She admired this woman's courage and positive-thinking. Arene was quiet for a while but she held Cebil's hands tighter in hers. Cebil's responded by patting Arene's hands.
Arene tried to compose herself by taking Cebil's hand bag. And just rummaged through it, with Cebil's permission of course.
"I don't even remember what's in there," Cebil laughed. Arene saw her wallet, a spec case and a vaseline. Cebil has a spec but she does not wear it anymore. Arene did something inappropriate and took out her own vaseline from her pocket and showed it to Cebil.
"Look! I got a small one too!" and giggled stupidly. But Cebil lauged along. OK, that was unnecessary, Arene thought, and put the bag away.
Arene saw Cebil's old necklace and complimented that too. Running her hand along the beads of the necklace. Cebil just smiled and her hand was stroking her neck.
"Can you see it?" she asked Arene, as she continue to stoke the side of her white neck.
"what? there's nothing here." Arene answered but she stroked Cebil's neck as well,really gently. She felt a lump on there and felt sad again. "You really can't see anything." She looked at the lady's other side of the neck, "and there's none here at all." Arene babbled, just trying to make her feel better.
"Oh that feels nice..." Cebil said, seeming relaxed when Arene massaged the lump.
"Does it hurt...?" Arene asked again. She couldn't bear to see the old lady in pain.
"Yes it does, a little.. but what you're doing is nice~ Although, that's not what you are supposed to do here," Cebil laughed weakly, turning her head.
"No, no please! I am more than willing. I like doing it. I really don't mind," Arene said quickly and massaged Cebil's neck some more. Hoping she does not hurt the lady.
"Ahhh...~" Cebil sighed and closed her eyes. Arene's heart moved for that woman. She wanted to do everything she could to make her happy.
Then they talked some more and Cebil said, "This is really lovely... I can do this all day.." Cebil said to Arene holding her hands.
"Yes, me too. Seriously.." Arene answered and she was honest. Cebil told Arene she loved cooking, any kind of meat but she dislikes fish.
"Oh really? neither do I!" Arene said, and they both laughed. They agreed that it smelled bad but both of them agreed that they both loved meat.
"But when I think deep down, they have to kill those animals you know.." Cebil said.
Oh gosh. "Yes I know. I feel the same way sometimes. Do you know what I want to be?" Arene said, excited. "I want to be a vet."
"Oh that's wonderful!" Cebil said.
"So I felt that way too sometimes. but see it this way. We raised the animals for us to eat. I mean, that's the reason for living." Arene said.
"Yes. but, thinking it deep down, they still have to be killed.." Cebil said.
Arene giggled. Adoring Cebil's soft spot for animals. "Try not to think too much then." she smiled.
"Arene we have to go." Elli said, but Arene told her in a minute. A few minutes later, CL came and said again, "we really have to go.." But Arene really did not want to leave Cebil alone but she did not have choice. So reluctantly she said slowly to Cebil, "I'm really sorry but.. I have to go..." and she got up slowly but still holding Cebil's hands. "Please take care and think postive always." Arene touched Cebil's stomach one last time and looked her in the eyes.
"Thank You very much. It's been lovely. I am really happy talking to you. Lovely girl." Cebil tried to say a lot more to express her thanks but Arene really didn't want her thanks.
"Please take care Cebil.. I'll.... uh.." she wanted to say she'll come and visit again but she did not want to give any promises. "I won't forget you. I'll come if I can alright..? Please think positive always.. and take care.." Arene squeezed her hands and went out of the room. She looked one last time at Cebil and she was waving, smiling really brightly.
As soon as she stepped out of the house, she could not contain it any longer. She cried then, unable to stand the sadness and feeling guilty, leaving Cebil. On the way home, CL comforted her but she kept on crying.
"We'll visit them again if you want. I'm sure we can~" CL said to her.
"Yeah..but I only want to talk to Cebil," Arene said, laughing and crying still.
Arriving home, Arene only saw 5 minutes of the pantomime but she didn't mind anymore. Arene did her praying and prayed that everything will be alright for Cebil. Cebil's powdery smell still lingered on her hands and it made her cry some more. She really admired Cebil and her courage. She felt sad thinking about Cebil's pain, but her ignorance toward it, like it was nothing. She's more touched when just doing some small talking, she was able to make Cebil happy and cheerful. She hoped she could do more. That was an experience she would never forget.
